Linguisticism

Let it be known! The prophets Strunk & White have not forsaken us! As of about 10 p.m. Dec. 10, in the holy year of 2008, the call of our omniscient Lord was answered!

The Holy Church of Linguisticism was christened on Paste-Up evening. Our eyes were opened wide and all the ultimate questions were answered! All our eternal Lord, Merriam Webster, asks in return for everlasting deliverance — for protection from the stylistic sins of this world — is reverence of Him.

Open your eyes and your hearts for our Lord, for His knowledge is great and His power is ultimate! Only by turning to Him can life’s most awesome questions be answered. Yes! He will open your minds to the meaning of this life, for all is known to Him! In universal knowledge the Church of Linguisticism is superior to all other faiths. It is the only faith with the clear understanding of the Meaning of Life! The followers of our great Lord need only turn to the Book of L, in the holy doctrine of Linguisticism to find the Meaning of Life:

1. --Life: –noun, pl.: lives – the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

This is one of the many answers to the ultimate question. My good people, turn away from your lives of unholy sin — your lives littered with misspellings and split infinitives. The book of Linguisticism does not discriminate against any of the peoples of the world. Let us all be unified in our reverence of the one true Lord, Merriam Webster!

Our first Holy Communion will take place with the acceptance of rough drafts in the next Holy Cycle, when the observant will make themselves known.

Cordially,
Pope Loren Johnson II